Memory Loss
by AllTheSnakes
Summary: A Niles/CC story exploring the value of the memories people build together.
1. The awakening

**Memory Loss**

 **Chapter 1: The Awakening**

When Niles opened his eyes after 12 hours of induced coma, doctors and nurses were already betting among themselves on what he would do, once the closest to wakening up he had reached before was getting restless and grunting something that sounded like _'I'm late'_.

(That gave him the distinction of being called _Mr White Rabbit_ by the hospital staff.)

So, all eyes and ears were on him when he opened his eyes and blinked to focus on the unfamiliar faces.

'Hi, there', an experienced nurse got closer and greeted him softly, in order to prevent him from panicking.

(Half the crowd was disappointed the woman did not ask _'How long is forever?'_ just to see if he would answer, _'Sometimes, just one second'_.

But, well, they were professionals.)

Niles looked at her, at his surroundings, lifted his head a bit to see the vial on his arm and breathed deeply.

The moment got suspended.

Seemingly calm and oriented, he licked his lips and spoke in a raspy but levered voice that put all hopes of creative answers away, 'I see I'm in a hospital room. What happened?'

xxx

In fact, no one really knew what had happened.

It was Wednesday; the children were at school; Fran was shopping with Val; the business partners were attending, separated, a long list of meetings through the city; Niles was by himself at the mansion.

In the middle of the afternoon, when the Nanny was back in time to get refreshed and rest her feet for a while before the children arrived, she found the house eerily silent.

(She hoped Niles forgave her for telling the Police she was surprised that her friend would not be singing loudly, dancing, drinking brandy with his feet up in the living room or anything else that displayed his elation at having the house to himself for so much time.)

So, Fran went looking for Niles, and found him unconscious on the floor of the butler's pantry, lots of kitchen utensils scattered around his body.

She called for help and soon he was taken to the hospital, with a crack on his skull and creating the mystery of what had happened for him, such a skilled person, to get himself hit in the head by a casserole.

xxx

Unfortunately, the mystery remained alive even after he woke up, all examinations were made and the Doctors made sure he had no obvious side-effects from the trauma.

No, there was no motor discoordination or mental confusion, Niles was able to sit and walk without assistance, and was speaking clearly and coherently.

He passed with flying colors on the memory issues evaluation, too, being able to answer correctly to questions about himself (name, age, profession) and the Sheffields (family names and dates). He could express personal opinions and talk easily about general topics, from current world affairs to common knowledge.

(He got a number of fans among the nurses, by the way, being British and a butler and cultured and having such a charming accent and blue eyes.)

However, he didn't remember a single thing about that Wednesday.

xxx

Feeling safe enough to permit visits, but not safe enough to admit the small crowd that had gathered on the waiting room (or to start with a very worried and nasal Jewish woman), the doctors chose Maxwell Sheffield to be the first to see Niles in the next morning.

The dark haired man entered the room and was a bit taken aback by the sight of his longtime friend with a bandage on the back of his head and some wires appearing from under the hospital garment and connected to a machine.

'Don't worry, Sir', Niles spoke drily when he realized the other man's startled reaction, 'They just want to make sure the problem in my head is not reaching my heart'.

Maxwell tried to smile and failed, while whirling his hands nervously, 'I'm sorry, Old Man. I must confess after that disturbing Heather Biblow affair I can't deal well with the idea of… loosing anyone'.

Touched by the rare emotional words from his boss, and by the unspoken mention of the losses of Sara and Fran, Niles softened, 'I'm all right, Sir. You really don't need to worry'.

'I'm glad to know', the producer now smiled in relief, finally approaching to stand by the side of the bed. Then, embarrassed by the display of affection, he cleared his throat and patted Niles' arm, 'And how is that hard head of yours?'

The other man shrugged, 'When it pounds too much the people in white give me some amazing pills', they shared a look, 'I suppose I'll be back at work soon', then, always the _drama queen_ , he looked away and spoke in a fragile voice, 'Three months, tops'.

More than happy to see Niles back to normal, Maxwell took the bait, 'Let me cheer you up, then'.

Niles squinted, 'And how would that be?'

Maxwell crossed his arms and asked, in all seriousness he could muster, 'May I call the children? They're waiting outside, crazy to tell you how much they miss you and your food'.

The butler sighed dramatically, 'I'm honored they came to see me, and I'm sure they will understand that I still get tired very easily', he pouted for better effect, 'And, once I have hit my head, I consider rather ungracious of you to use the world _crazy_ '.

Now Maxwell had a teasing twinkle in his eyes, 'You're right, I'm sorry. But what about Miss Fine? She is in the waiting room, too, anxious to tell you _in detail_ what a terrifying thing finding you like that was'.

The butler threw his friend an unimpressed look, 'I'm sure it will be a very entertaining story, even if her voice may aggravate my concussion and get in the way of my recovery'.

'Have I mentioned Sylvia and Yetta are waiting to see you, too?'

The butler raised his hands in surrender, 'All right, I'll behave!'

Both men chuckled.

Lowering his hands, Niles asked, genuinely touched, 'Is everybody really here?'

'Of course they are!', Maxwell beamed at his friend's shy smile. Then, he uncrossed his arms and put his hands on his pockets, adopting a condescending tone, 'I mean, not everybody. I couldn't find a way to convince CC to come'.

The moment Maxwell said the name of his business partner, the machine connected to Niles' chest showed his heart accelerating quickly.

Worried, the producer put a hand on his friend's shoulder, 'Is there any problem, Old Man?'

Niles frowned deeply, 'Who is _CC_?'


	2. Mixed signals

_Thank you for the reviews, people. They are very encouraging!_

 **Memory Loss**

 **Chapter 2: Mixed signals**

The news about Niles remembering even Mister Sheffield's Tuesday tie and Sylvia's preferred cake (the answer is: _all of them_ ) but not his nemesis existence fell like a bomb in the Sheffield household.

Nobody knew how CC would take the situation, so Maxwell took the burden to tell her before Niles was back in the mansion from the hospital. The subject was brought up while they drank some tea themselves prepared in one of the few moments he managed to convince her to stop working.

The British man was careful enough to make sure Miss Fine was not in sight. He was afraid CC would be shocked and off control, and had decided to protect her from being exposed like that.

However, Maxwell didn't need to worry: after some moments of silence and wide eyes, his business partner's reaction was to wave the news off, saying something about God finally hearing her prayers and giving her some peace.

Fran had obviously heard the conversation through the intercom and, when Maxwell joined the family for take-out dinner, people were already trying to decide if they should be relieved at Miss Babcock not really minding that Niles had forgotten her, or if they should be worried she acted as a true sociopath who doesn't care for someone with whom she lived side by side every day.

CC and Niles had been kind of inseparable, even if for the wrong reasons. It didn't make sense that both suddenly acted like strangers.

xxx

The Police investigation led to filing the case as an accident, once Niles had been alone in the house, there was no sign of some outsider breaking and entering, and nothing had been robbed or destroyed. Some glass things had broken to pieces when they hit the floor, but no one believed it had been the work of some assailant.

(Fran mentioned the Butlers Association could be the culprit for such a creepy thing, saying they maybe ' _wanted revenge or something'_ , but no one really took her idea seriously.)

So, when Niles was released from the hospital two days later, Maxwell picked him up and they went directly to the mansion, so life could hopefully get back to normal.

xxx

And _kind_ of normal it was.

To Niles, everything should feel normal: he was taking advantage of his light duties, roaming the house with his feather duster in hand while keeping updated with everybody's lives, cooking for the family (Sheffields and Fines and eventual Toriellos), counting with some hired staff for the most tiring tasks and enjoying his free time wandering through the house, joyous to order people around.

(And we mean the family, once he felt authorized to remind them, whenever he considered they were giving him more trouble than he was able to care about, of _his condition_ ).

Niles had decided not to tell anyone, but he didn't feel all right. Something was surely off, but he couldn't put a finger on it.

Walking through the mansion and looking at familiar things gave him some relief. It was like every place and object was ready to give him something more than what he could remember, and the hope for every lost memory was enough to give him a fuzzy feeling, for the time being.

xxx

If it was not enough that Niles wandered the mansion with a weird expectant look, the already unnerved family found out that, the moment CC Babcock knew the butler was back, she was the one to disappear from the mansion.

She sent a messenger with a list of business meetings she had arranged for the next days, offering herself to represent the company in every one of them. Maxwell realized what she was doing – he was not an idiot, and the fact she was not even making a phone call to not risk talking to Niles was an obvious hint –, and let her be for three days.

However, tired of the excuses and schemes that were messing with their work, and bothered by Niles' furrowed brow at the poor messenger who came at least four times a day, Maxwell knew something had to be done.

xxx

That was why, when Niles was starting dinner one week after the accident, a sudden blonde hurricane happened on his kitchen.

'Here I am. You have seen me. I'm out', was all she said, already turning to exit the room.

' _CC'_ , Maxwell's menacing voice came through the intercom.

She groaned, turned around again, crossed her arms and sulked.

Niles put the knife he was using on the sink, dried his hands and went to the intercom, 'Thank you, Sir. I take it from here'.

CC noticed with surprise that the butler turned the machine off before turning to her.

'So', he said, walking slowly to stand in front of the island, looking at her intently, 'You are the famous CC Babcock'.

' _Famous_?', she huffed, 'With you out of the picture, I don't believe anyone could have anything creative to say about me'.

He frowned in confusion, 'Are you praising me or trying to offend me?'

She breathed deeply, trying to sound calm and collected, 'Maxwell said you wanted to see me. I came', she spoke through gritted teeth, 'May I go, now?'

'What are we to each other?'

'What?'

'I asked what is…', he made a gesture between them, '…our relationship'.

CC joined her hands nervously, 'Why are you asking it?'

'Because I can't remember'.

She set her jaw, 'If you can't remember, it means it is not important'.

'If _you_ are not important, why my heart beats faster when anyone speaks about you? They had to call the nurses when Mister Sheffield first mentioned your name in the hospital. And now…', he gulped, resting a hand on his chest, '…I'm feeling it again'.

The blonde was not prepared to answer to that.

She blinked at Niles' direct gaze.

Those blues, usually shining with a glint of malice or the fire of annoyance, now were inviting her to say anything that clarified their status to each other.

Reaching a decision, CC spoke calmly, 'It's called _fight or_ _flight_ reaction, Niles. When you're facing a menace, your body instinctively reacts, preparing to defend itself or run away – and both things require an accelerated heartbeat'.

'Well, I don't feel like fighting you'.

'That's a first', she scoffed, 'Thinking better, Fate helped us all and the memory loss is giving you some sense. Maybe now you will shut up and hide instead of provoking this beast'.

CC finished speaking and smirked, a victorious stance.

Niles stayed quiet, his head tilted to the side, analyzing her.

His silence took so long and was so unusual that she felt self-conscious and sneered to hide it, 'What?'

He still didn't answer.

Getting creeped out, CC uncrossed her arms, 'If we're over, I'm going. I had a full day of work that I thought couldn't get worse until Maxwell blackmailed me to come here and greet the slave'.

She waited for a reaction again, but it didn't come.

Not knowing what else to do, she turned to the swinging door.

His voice sounded pensive, 'You came here…'

She stopped in her tracks.

'… expecting to have fun'.

Now she turned, 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Mister Sheffield may have done some menace to get you to come here, but you don't seem to be the kind of woman who enters any deal without getting something from it. Am I right?'

'You can bet on it'.

'So, you came to see me because you had something to gain. By the twinkle in your eyes at every quip, I suppose you enjoy me as a sparring partner'.

'Oh, sure. You make my blood boil…', she hissed, leaning towards him menacingly, her hands on her hips, '…with rage'.

'It's a start', he easily answered, showing her the first smirk since the accident.

It made her falter.

It made him understand what had been lacking.

'It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Babcock', Niles said, smiling warmly.

'I'm out of here'.

And, in a second, there was nothing to see but a swinging door.

xxx

The family noticed, in a mix of worry and relief, that Niles couldn't stop smiling since he had talked to Miss Babcock.

Fran teased him about it during dinner, just to receive a happy shrug in return.

xxx

 _He climbed off the car hurriedly. The night was so misty he could barely see the black and white outlines of old airplanes and buildings in the distance._

 _Niles waved in front of his face to undo some of the humidity in hopes of seeing clearer._

 _And immediately found who he had been looking for._

 _He started walking towards her, his raincoat getting quickly wet, and he wondered if things could get worse._

' _What the Hell are you doing here?!', she yelled as soon as she spotted him._

 _(Of course things could get worse. CC Babcock was mad at the_ sight _of him.)_

' _You can't leave like this', he said, stopping right in front of her._

' _Of course I can', she answered, 'I'm rich. I bought tickets'._

' _I mean you shouldn't leave without talking to me'._

' _Why not?'_

 _He searched for the right words to not scare her while conveying his feelings, but none came. In a desperate attempt to make her talk, he asked, 'What about us?'_

' _We'll always have Paris'._

 _He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly he got the reference and everything was clear._

 _CC saw his obvious distress and got a step closer, 'I'm doing the thinking, here, and deciding for the both of us. We don't belong together. It seemed nice for the last days, but we both know you'll-_ we'll _regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we will', she spoke and looked away, 'Just let it go'._

 _He lowered his head and closed his eyes._

 _She wasn't moving, and he prayed silently for it to mean she was having second thoughts._

 _Even if she had them, they were not enough to change her mind..._

 _(Maybe nothing about him could make her change her mind)_

… _and he felt her passing by him, her hand brushing his one last time._

 _Niles felt burning in his eyes and opened them._

 _The mist was gone. The airplanes were gone. The black and white had turned into a colorful tropical landscape with palm trees and a crowded avenue._

 _He looked around, trying to find her._

 _Maybe now he could see clearly, but there was nothing really to see but a parting taxi._

Niles woke up suddenly, his throat dry and his heart heavy with the feeling of loss.

Realizing he had been dreaming, he calmed down, got off his bed and went to his bathroom.

He drank some water, washed and dried his face, and the process gave him a sense of reality that cleared his mind and helped to tell apart memory and dream.

He remembered clearly that holiday in a tropical paradise, and the initial happy feeling at finally being able to go to a place himself had chosen.

And he remembered the slightly unsettling sensation that, once Babcock was the one to suggest the place through the brochures she gave him just for mocking, it would be perfect if she was there with him.

He told himself he just wanted her there because then she would see him having fun as a tourist and not being the servant, but he realized he cared about her opinion on him more than he cared about the vacations themselves, and it got him worried.

It was not as if he really wanted her there, was it?

(As if he _wanted_ her, period.)

To his chagrin, his first days on the island were filled with thoughts of what Babcock would say or do if she was with him. It felt like, in some way, he could not be there without her.

So, being slightly high from cocktails and trying to distract himself from what seemed an obsession, it was not that surprising that he said a festive 'Shake it, Miss Babcock' as soon as they met in a party.

After that first encounter, they started finding the other at the most unexpected places – it was almost as if they had the same tastes in everything! –, seized the opportunities to pull pranks, and quickly destroyed any possibility of social life and summer romance the other could have started at that point.

And then they met in a very secluded small restaurant both seemed to have chosen to hide from their nemesis: they entered through different doors and ended up in the same corner table at the second floor – the one with a beautiful view of the sea.

They looked at each other in shock for some moments and, tired of running, sat together for lunch, feeling like they had reached the only possible ending.

From that day on, they had lunch and dinner together every day, and tried some very exotic dishes.

They went to parties together, just danced with the other and loved every minute of it.

They went to the beach together, obviously ogling the other, pretending distaste when one asked for help with the sunscreen and exchanging barbs over every little thing.

They walked through the island, hiked and did everything a couple in a blooming romance would do – what included teasing each other's lack of spontaneity outdoors and then helping out at every hint that it was needed.

The useful niceties led to the occasional brushing of hands and to the warm smiles, that led to feeling comfortable and to begrudgingly admit they enjoyed being together.

One night they sat on the sand in their preferred part of the beach, in front of CC's hotel, watching the full moon and exchanging jokes over werewolves. After a good zinger directed at him, CC nudged Niles preposterously until he laughed and, in an impulse of affection, he took her hand and kissed it.

He lowered her hand and kept it in his, not looking into her face in order to preserve his bravado.

He could feel her eyes analyzing him.

Finally, she got closer enough to be positively snuggled against his side, and put her head on his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a long time, in silence, his thumb caressing her hand, her fingers caressing the hair on his nape, basking in a tenderness that had yet to be understood.

At some point she parted from him and said it was late, and he offered to escort her to her hotel.

They said a rather shy good night at the main doors, neither of them sure of what was happening, anymore.

Next morning, not able to sleep at all, Niles arrived on the front desk of her hotel very early. He intended on seeing her and making clear he had feelings for her – good feelings – and that, if she gave him a chance, he would do his best to show her how perfect things between them could be.

However, the clerk informed him Miss Babcock had left the hotel, for good, last night, leaving a very short note for him:

 _I'm going back to real life in New York. See you there._

Niles remembered exiting the hotel and taking his time looking at the crowded avenue and realizing there was nothing left to see, there, but the passing taxis.

No, that _Casablanca_ conversation had not happened, but it felt as if it had.

Niles looked at the mirror.

The memories of her had started to come back.

There was no doubt CC Babcock was the most important person in his life.

He just needed to understand what he could do about it.


	3. Appearances

**Memory Loss**

 **Chapter 3: Appearances**

Niles didn't have many elements to guess what the blonde of his dreams – or nightmares – would do next, and he was really eager to find out.

The only memory he had of her – the one in the tropical island, in which she leaves without saying goodbye as soon as she realizes they are getting emotionally closer – made him fear he would not see her any soon.

Maybe he had been too flirting for a first encounter, and her reaction would be to disappear from the mansion again.

He could understand it, in fact. His strong feelings for her kind of creeped himself out, too: if he had no memory of CC Babcock, how was it his life felt a little empty when she was not around? And how could he convey what he felt for her and make any sense, if he didn't have a clue of where they stood?

That is why the butler had been thinking of ways to bring the blonde to the mansion since he started his day: while the family had breakfast he had already listed to himself the more than legitimate reasons to ask for her presence, his mental calculations soon taking him to the conclusion he didn't have to be discreet over wanting to have CC Babcock close to him, once he was recovering from a concussion and needed all the help he could have to get his complete memories back.

Besides, the family should support his need of-

'Hello, hello!'

The moment he saw her there, greeting while standing at the door of the dining room, Niles someway knew that scene had happened lots of times.

And, even if he couldn't really remember it, his chest was warmed by an alarmingly familiar surge of happiness.

The blonde was carrying some manila folders, and she threw around the coldest of stares – acknowledging everything in the room _but_ the butler – before walking to the table and sitting down.

'Good morning, Miss Babcock', Fran said, with a knowing look, 'You surprised us'.

'How is that?', came the annoyed answer, while adjusting the napkin on her lap.

'You usually ring the bell, so Niles has to walk through the house to let you in', the Nanny supplied, more than happy to oblige. She was too curious about CC's reaction to Niles lost memories of her, and was decided to prod as much as she could.

To the brunette's chagrin, she received an icy glare as response to her comment.

Maxwell decided to defuse the situation with a joyous tone, 'It's good to see you're feeling innovative today, partner. I hope it reflects on business'.

'Sure, Maxwell', CC said with an obviously fake smile, then looked at the Nanny, 'About your question: no need to force the butler to drag his rotting carcass around when he needs all of his mental energy to pretend he remembers how to work', she spoke, dropped the fake smile and put a lock of hair behind her ear, 'As if he knew it at some point'.

She noticed everybody at the table still had their noses crunched at the reference of a _rotten carcass_.

Satisfied to have crushed all intentions of lightness and fishing, she rested her hands on the table and stared ahead, waiting.

Realizing the woman expected to be served, everybody looked to Niles.

He was smiling at her, obviously enchanted, not a sign that it was changing any soon.

Maxwell cleared his throat, 'Niles?'

'Uhm?'

The boss just raised his eyebrows, tilting his head discreetly into CC's direction.

That woke him up, 'Oh, I should be serving!'

The butler went into motion, and everybody noticed the fond smile CC was trying to hide when he turned his back to pick something from the serving table.

After some pondering, Niles turned again, 'I'm sorry, but… What do you like to eat in the morning, Miss Babcock?'

'The souls of the innocent'.

There was an unspoken _Oh!_ around the table.

(It was not every day that Miss Babcock zingered _herself_.)

'You got me unprepared', Niles answered, a glint in his eyes, 'May we stay in the realm of legality, for the moment?'

Maxwell started a reaction, but Fran raised a hand for him to not interfere, and he went back to his breakfast.

'I would have eaten in any other place, if I knew it would be so disappointing', CC remarked, joining her hands under her chin and facing the butler with a look that could only be described as _teasing_.

'Don't be so fast in judging me', Niles lifted a plate, 'I have the solution for your cravings right here!'

'Croissants?', she scoffed, looking at the plate.

'Yes', he grinned while he served her, 'Mischievous like the French, and shaped as a half moon – what I suppose may be acceptable to satisfy a creature of the darkness'.

'Croissants will do', CC conceded, when he turned from the table again, 'It's not like I really expected you to offer anything that could satisfy me'.

That was enough for Maxwell, and he started moving to leave the table.

However, his children were quicker and excused themselves before he had a chance to say anything.

Defeated and tied to impeccable education, he sat back and accepted Fran's consoling pat on his hand.

Niles was again at CC's side, 'Latte?'

'Please'.

He nodded, served her in silence and went back to his spot, behind Maxwell.

The dark-heads observed the peaceful interaction with surprise.

The blondes stayed in silence for a while – CC eating, Niles waiting.

However, both were stealing glances at the other quite often, what unnerved Maxwell and Fran.

The tension in the room was palpable.

The appearances didn't last long, as expected.

'All right, servant', CC said suddenly, cleaning her lips with the napkin, 'What's going on?'

'Pardon?'

'I'm used to you _saying_ idiotic things, instead of just _staring_ as an idiot'.

'I thought it would not be appropriate if I were to take any argument further, us being so recently acquainted', Niles answered sincerely, 'I'm following your lead demurely, and conveying my amusement with discretion'.

She threw him an icy glare, 'The word for it is _blandness_ '.

'I offer what I can, you decide what you want. While I can't remember things about you, that's how it's going to be', he shrugged, 'To get anything, you just have to tell me what is your desire, and I'll do what is within my reach to do it'.

Her cheeks turned red, 'What the hell are you talking about?'

'Croissants', Niles answered calmly, then made an exaggerated expression of surprise, 'Weren't we talking about the fact I had to use my wit and improvisation skills to calm down some of your wild urges?'

'Are you sure you have no memory of me?', she squinted, 'Because you're acting exactly the same obnoxious servant as ever'.

'Maybe your presence is enough for me to act like this'.

'Yeah', she bitterly said, 'Now I am to blame for your empty life'.

'My life surely must have been a bit empty before you came along'.

'But now you have a hobby'.

The moment CC sneered the last sentence she regretted it.

Niles frowned, blinked some times and asked, confused, 'You are quoting me, aren't you?'

CC rolled her eyes.

Fran prodded, 'Are you?'

'What do you think?', CC huffed, 'Who would have the gall to say something like that?'

'Like what?', Fran asked, 'That you fulfil his life, and then take it back with a zinger?'

Niles joined his hands on his back and spoke loudly, trying to dismiss Fran's too revealing observation, 'That was very daring of me'.

'Yes', CC agreed, 'Given the circumstances when you said that, I could have strangled you'.

He was curious, 'And what did you do, instead?'

She locked stares with him, in silence.

Fran prodded again, 'Yeah, what did you do?'

CC blinked and, to have something to do, sipped her latte, dismissing the subject, 'That's classified information'.

The butler spoke before anyone could, 'Well, there's a level of intimacy necessary for a person to tell another that she is something he enjoys thinking about and doing in his free time', Niles juggled his shoulders happily, 'That's enough for me to know, right now'.

The blonde glared, 'This is you trying to be _discreet_?'

'Now I was going for _charming_ '.

Fran opened her mouth in a comic huge _O_.

Maxwell raised his eyebrows impossibly high.

'Usually you spend your time trying to be _annoying_ , and manage it very well', CC remarked, her eyes attentive on Niles while the cup of latte hid part of her face, 'What if you're too old for new tricks?'

'I take it you hope we're back to our routines as soon as possible', he stated, 'Does my lack of memory frustrate you?'

The silence was filled with tension, again.

'I couldn't care less about what goes on in that sick mind of yours'.

'Now I must disagree', he dared, even knowing he was pushing his luck, 'I am under the impression that it's just a matter of time for me to find the right tune to enchant you'.

She scoffed, 'Niles, the Siren. That's new'.

'As I said, you just have to tell me what you want. You know I'm creative', he smirked, 'I may not remember it, but _you_ certainly do'.

Their eyes met.

It was a duel, as it had been so many times, mixing hatred and pleasure.

Maxwell and Fran were on the edge of their seats.

Suddenly, CC got up, throwing the napkin on the table, 'I'll be in the office, Maxwell'.

She walked decisively to the door, then stopped and turned, putting her hands on her hips, inclining forward slightly and saying in a low, hateful voice, 'I _loathe_ you'.

Niles' façade and posture were lost in a second: his eyes went wide and his mouth opened as if he knew there was one right answer to that phrase.

However, he couldn't remember what it was.

'It seems poor Niles forgot his lines', CC grinned evilly, 'Really disappointing'.

And she walked away, leaving him frustrated with something he didn't even know what was.

xxx

 _Niles entered the balcony and looked at the bright sky and its full moon._

 _He couldn't forget what had happened._

 _He had met the love of his life._

 _But now she was gone, and he probably would never see her again, because society was cruel and unfair, sometimes._

 _The words flowed from his mouth into the darkness of the night, 'Oh, Babcock, Babcock! Wherefore art thou, Babcock? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Sheffield'._

' _You're not a Sheffield. Stop the nonsense'._

 _To his surprise and delight, there she was, the woman of his dreams, glaring at him from the edge of the balcony._

 _He got closer and extended a hand to help her to climb the rest of the way in, 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet!'_

' _Yeah, yeah', she said, refusing the hand and doing things by herself, 'However, I say again: you are not a Sheffield, just a servant in their house'. She adjusted her dress when she rested her feet on the balcony floor, 'In fact, if you were a real Sheffield, maybe I wouldn't have to wander in the shadows of the night and climb stony walls to see your stupid face'._

 _He rested a hand over his heart, while the other reached out to tenderly take one of hers and pull her out of the more open area, 'The orchards walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here'._

 _His worry seemed to mollify her, and she smiled, 'With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls…'_

 _He smiled back, '…for stony limits cannot hold love out'._

 _She smirked, 'And, what love can do, that dares love attempt'._

' _Say no more!', he raised her hand to his lips to kiss it, 'My Babcock would, were she not Babcock called, retain the dear perfection that she owes without that title'._

 _He got close enough to rest his hands on her waist, 'Babcock, doff thy name, and for the name, which is no part of thee, take all myself'._

 _Her eyes locked with his, and she opened her lips to answer._

 _But a voice coming from inside the castle startled them._

'Niles!'

' _Oh, darn', he huffed, letting go of her, 'My boss is calling me'._

 _She crossed her arms on her chest, annoyed._

 _Seeing her reaction, he yelled back, 'Just a moment, Sir!'_

 _She was pouting, 'You would leave me here at the first yell of your master?'_

' _I'm sorry. Force of habit'._

' _Maybe it's better'._

' _Wait a minute. Didn't you come here to exchange vows with me? Didn't you just spoke of love?'_

' _I would speak of anything that was required to have your lips on mine again'._

' _Again?', he asked, confused, 'Did we…'_

'Niles! _', the voice sounded, louder than before._

 _He gave two steps to yell as if he was getting closer, 'Going, Sir!'_

 _He turned again, this time to accuse her, 'It seems you are hiding something from me'._

' _Don't imply I'm the crazy one here'._

' _I should have known better than to trust someone who just does things under the influence of the moon'._

' _Are you calling me a lunatic? Watch out – I'm well versed in Latin'._

' _You should be better versed in Shakespeare, because what I meant is…', he made a big gesture to the skies and recited, '…you swear by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable'._

'Niles!'

' _Dear God!', he realized their time was over and picked her up to help her to the edge of the balcony and make sure she was going away, 'Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart, as that within my breast!'_

' _Oh', she enlaced her hands behind his neck, keeping him close, and lowered her voice, 'Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?'_

 _He paused, hypnotized, 'What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?'_

 _She approached her face slowly, her eyes set on his._

 _She opened her lips and whispered, 'We will never mention it again'._

'Niles!'

The butler woke up from the unexpected afternoon nap in a jolt.

He blinked a few times, clearing his mind and finding out he had dozed off while reading in the kitchen small table.

(Well, maybe not just _dozed off_ , once he had had one more of those dreams.)

He wondered if his boss had been really calling him or if it was just part of his dream.

Niles got up and stretched, his eyes wandering through the kitchen.

They sat at the side door.

He frowned, remembering a certain night.

A night when something happened in the living room.

He didn't remember what it was – just that it had to do with Babcock, who had left the mansion soon after whatever happened; and that Niles had left the living room as quickly as he could, because _he had to find her before it was too late_.

Too late for what?

He had no idea.

That night he had crossed the mansion and exited by the side door, arriving quickly at the front of the house.

She was there, standing in the cold night, her bare shoulders in contrast with the black dress that hugs her curves.

Few times in his life Niles had felt something like the emotion that got him in that moment.

Yes, it was lust for those curves and that skin.

However, it was affection, fondness and every other name you could give to such a need to take her in his arms and make her feel cherished as anyone else had done before.

He jogged to reach her.

She heard the steps and turned, warily.

There was unmistakable surprise in her eyes when she saw it was him.

They stood in front of the other in silence.

He couldn't prevent his eyes from taking her from head to toe. He was under the impression that he had just understood how much he needed her, and it was being difficult to find any words to express it.

She put her arms around herself, as if protecting her body from his eyes, and Niles realized he was not being a gentleman. She could not know what he was feeling if he didn't make some nice gesture to show it, and until that moment all he did was stare.

So, he cleared his throat and managed what he intended as an offer, 'It's too late to stand alone in the streets, even if you're avoiding the corners'.

For a moment she was serious, and he thought she would hit him.

But then CC Babcock smiled, 'What do you suggest?'

Niles' heart was beating like crazy.

Before he found his voice, she went serious again, 'It's not like I can go back to the mansion'.

He gave a step towards her, hoping he could soothe her feelings, 'Why not? Isn't it permitted to the evil creatures to enter family homes if invited?'

She didn't acknowledge the teasing, 'What if they see us? _Again_?'

'We don't have to explain anything to them'.

He gave another step.

Now he was close enough to reach out for her hand.

He just had to gather the courage to do so.

She seemed unsure, looking at the front of the mansion.

Maybe some more daring words were necessary, once all his hands could do was join themselves in front of him, as if he was a shy kid.

Niles spoke delicately, 'This is not about them. It's about us'.

CC's eyes went wide the moment she was hit by the meaning of what he had said.

Then she looked away and waved a hand dismissively, 'Oh, please. As if you had anything of your own'.

His body tensed, but he still made an effort to pretend her jab hadn't hit a nerve, 'I'm sure people have retired, by now. It's safe for you to use one of the guest rooms'.

'Well, I'm not so sure', she crossed her arms around her, again, 'I mean, we will never mention it again. But what about them?'

His arms fell to his sides.

A pain he didn't know until then crushed his heart.

'Thinking better', he spoke in a strangled voice, 'There is no moon. I'm sure you'll have an advantage on the hunters, tonight'.

He turned and walked to the mansion without looking back.

' _Niles!'_

The butler looked around, getting out of those disturbing memories.

It had been the intercom calling for him, all the time.

Real life was not being easy on Niles, lately.


	4. What's going on?

**Memory Loss**

 **Chapter 4: What's going on?**

Niles answered promptly the call from his boss.

Not that being hit in the head was giving him any sudden cravings for being a proper servant; he had in his best interest going to the office as soon as possible because it would provide a welcomed distraction from his disturbing Shakespearean dream.

(If anyone asked what took him so long to answer he could always blame the concussion. There was no need to spread rumors about afternoon naps.)

Besides, there was a good chance of Maxwell having news about Miss Babcock, who had left for the theater in the middle of the morning and never contacted the mansion again.

Niles had some hope that she would be back to report to her business partner before the end of the working day, and then the butler would have the chance to offer her a simple but delicious afternoon snack.

With some luck she was staying for dinner, and he would have the chance to offer her something tasty and carefully crafted.

She had teased him before disappearing from the dining room in the morning – the least he expected from her was a fair opportunity to pay back the attention.

 **xxx**

Niles should have known better than to expect any fairness from Miss Babcock.

Maxwell had called to say he wanted something specific for dinner. A personal choice, in fact, that he knew Miss Fine and the children would approve of.

When the butler asked if it would be just them for dinner, the high-spirited answer was, 'Yes, tonight it's just the family'.

It made him flinch.

Obviously, Babcock was not family enough.

It shouldn't disturb him, but it did.

 **xxx**

Niles left the office feeling unbalanced: he should be annoyed at Miss Babcock, once she was again playing hide-and-seek – she teased him and then ran away, a feature present in both dreams and memories he had of her, and now in their present interactions, too.

However, he felt almost _angry_ at Maxwell for not even thinking of including her in the familiar gatherings.

Was the man oblivious to the fact that, if Niles was family, so was CC, once he just felt complete with her around?

Was it possible that Niles' bond with Babcock was so concealed no one could see it?

Was it the reason why Babcock herself believed they were just playing games?

The butler was immersed in these thoughts when he entered the living room and saw a certain brunette reading on the sofa.

He took it as a hint from Fate, 'Miss Fine?'

She put down the magazine immediately.

(It was not like Fran to miss any opportunity to find out what had her friend's guts in a knot.)

Her tone of voice and knowing face made obvious she had been waiting to discuss something engaging – probably, that conversation she witnessed at breakfast, 'Yes, sweetie?'

Decided to open up to her, Niles sat on the sofa, his body turned to his friend, 'I have a question, and I think you're the right person to answer it', he tilted his head, 'Well, maybe not the right person, but the one who _will_ talk to me about it'.

'You mean it's personal, Mister Sheffield is too conservative and Miss Babcock is too… you know, _Miss Babcock_ to do it?'

'Exactly'.

'Go on'.

He chose his words carefully, 'I have been dreaming…'

'Oh, my God!', she interrupted, 'Are you having nightmares?! Do you think it's because of the hit in the head? Or is it the meds? Why didn't you tell earlier?! Let's call the doctors! I have a cousin that…'

'No, no need to', he calmed her down, 'They are not nightmares, just disturbing dreams. And they didn't start immediately after the accident, so I think they are not related to the concussion nor the treatment'.

'Oh', she was curious, 'When did they start?'

'When I met Miss Babcock'.

'Was it a zinger?'

'Pardon?'

'You just said your bad dreams started when you met Miss Babcock. It's the kind of thing you would say to annoy her'.

'No, I was just stating a fact', he shrugged, 'I've seen her twice, and I dreamed about her every time'.

'You saw her this morning. When did you sleep?'

He scowled, 'That's not the point'.

She smirked, 'Oh, please, as if I didn't know you nap when…'

'Miss Fine…'

'All right, I'll focus', she patted his knee, 'If you want my opinion, you called her a _witch_ so many times that, even if you don't remember her, maybe your mind believe you're under a curse, and is making you dream of her in order to…'

While she spoke, Niles muttered tentatively, ' _Witch_ '.

He heard, as a faint sound, Fran agreeing and commenting on his habit of creating nicknames for Miss Babcock, but he was not really paying attention, anymore. He was taken by a strange sensation of familiarity and… _something else_ that the word brought on him.

He came out of his reverie when he realized Fran was still talking, and cut her off, 'I have a very specific question to ask you'.

'All right', she was all ears.

He explained, 'The dreams start with me and Miss Babcock in a famous scene… of a movie, or a play…', he noticed Fran rolling her eyes at the contents and decided to ignore it, 'Things develop… _nicely_ until some point – no, I'm not giving you any details – and then she kinds of…'

He hesitated, and she suggested, 'Blow it all up?'

'Let's say we part in bad terms'.

She nodded in understanding, 'And you think those are memories?'

'No, they are not memories; however, they always bring back a memory when I wake up', he looked down at his hands, 'A memory of her'.

'How creepy'.

He glared, 'Thank you for the support'.

'Sorry, sweetie, but you must agree it's strange. You see the woman every day. I thought you would remember things about her while fooling around in the mansion, not when you go to sleep'.

He pouted for a moment, pondering on what she had said, 'Well, Miss Fine, I appreciate your opinion on how my mind chose to recover itself. I'm sure you'll have useful input to give me _when I finally ask my question_ '.

She made a mocking respectful face and gestured for him to resume his tale.

He did so, 'Last night dream made me remember what seems to be the second half of a… situation. I'm asking for your help because I think you witnessed what happened in the first half'.

'I got it. Hit me'.

Niles nodded and started gesturing to add dramatics to his story, 'It was late night. Something happened in the mansion, and I went after Miss Babcock, who had just left. I found her in front of the house, and tried to convince her to come back'.

She raised a hand, 'Wait a minute. It was a memory?'

'Yes. Why do you ask?'

'Because she was going away and you were trying to bring her back'.

'It was late, as I said', he shrugged to avoid the strange feeling that he was missing some crucial data related to what the nanny had said, 'I suppose it was the human thing to do'.

'Uhum', she let out a mocking agreement.

Deciding it was for the best, he seized her pretense to go on, 'The fact is, she was hesitant to come back because she was worried about _someone_ _seeing_ her. I think she meant you and Mister Sheffield', he rested his hands on his thighs, in a calculated gesture to hide his nerves, 'Does it remind you of anything?'

Fran tilted her head in sorrow, 'It's not much information, sweetie. I wish I could help you, but I need more to work on'.

Niles looked down at his hands, dejected, 'There's not much more than this. She threw me an off-handed zinger, I didn't like it and left her there'.

'You two fighting and you leaving her out of the house is not rare, Niles'.

'I see', his shoulders fell.

He understood Fran couldn't help him to find out more about that memory.

And he understood that everything the woman had to say reinforced he was responsible for Miss Babcock to believe they had a silly game going on.

'Thank you for trying, Miss Fine'.

He turned and supported his back against the sofa, obviously forlorn.

Fran smiled at her friend, touched.

It must have been difficult to live without remembering his declared enemy. It was not a little detail that Niles didn't remember _only_ Miss Babcock. It was a big thing. They were a huge part of each other's lives. Much more, in fact, than they admitted…

'Wait a minute!', Fran yelled, suddenly, making Niles jump, 'What was she wearing?'

'What does it…?'

'I have a hunch! And trust me, if something will juggle a memory for me, is clothes'.

'She was wearing a black dress. It was sleeveless and had a… well…', he made a gesture in front of his chest.

She interrupted his shyness at describing the cleavage with cries of joy, 'I know! I know! It was the night I had a date with Lenny!'

'Lenny… Your pen pal?'

'Yeah! Don't you remember how that night ended?'

'Miss Fine, frankly, I don't think it's appropriate of me to speculate on your date with…'

'Not that!', she slapped his arm, 'I came back home with Mister Sheffield. Lenny didn't show up. He saw me kissing a guy – you know, he had the rose on his lapel as we had…'

'Miss Fine…'

'…and Lenny left me a note…'

'Miss Fine…'

'Wasn't it bad luck or what? Mister Sheffield was with me – he wanted to meet Lenny and make sure I was safe…'

'Miss Fine…'

'And then we entered…', she made a gesture to the front door, '…and here you were'.

'Who?'

'Me and Mister Sheffield entered'.

Now he just glared.

'Oh, all right. It was you and Miss Babcock, in a royal battle of tongues'.

He frowned, confused, 'Were we fighting?'

'You were kissing, sweetie. A lip-lock with fireworks'.

Niles froze at that.

Fran got worried, 'Are you ok?'

He opened his mouth and whispered a hesitant, 'We kissed?'

'Yeah, you kissed. It was a hundred degrees hotter in the room than it should be, by the way'.

'Are you sure?'

'Well, I didn't measure it, but… Oh, you mean the kiss', she put her hands on her waist, indignant, 'I know a kiss when I see one, Niles'.

'I mean… Did you see it clearly? Didn't we stop when you entered?'

'You didn't stop', she smiled knowingly, 'It seemed the world was just the two of you'.

'And what happened? How did it end?'

'I don't know exactly what happened, but suddenly you parted and turned to us… We were at the door, and you stayed in each other's arms and looked at us as if you could not understand from where we had come from', Fran smiled at the memory, 'And then you took her to the door, she went away, you said goodnight and went to your room'.

Niles frowned deeply, 'Haven't we talked about it?'

'Me and you? I tried to, in the next morning, but you glared at me and I got it was off limits'.

He gulped down, 'I see'.

Fran put a hand on his arm, 'Did I help?'

'You certainly did, Miss Fine', he forced a smile, 'I just don't know exactly how'.

 **xxx**

Niles was dusting the office in the end of the afternoon. He hoped to remember something based on his surroundings, once most of his day had been Babcock-deprived.

The phone rang.

Being the only one in the room – Mister Sheffield had been convinced by his nanny that everybody needed a break and there was something about the children he simply had to see with his own eyes –, Niles took it, 'Sheffield residence'.

' _Oh, crap_ '.

He smiled, finding her reaction adorable, 'Stop it. This way I'll never have a chance to be the charming one, here'.

' _Ha-ha'._

'May I help you, Miss Babcock?'

' _Yes, I need to talk to Maxwell'._

'He is not in the office at the moment. Should I call him?'

A pause. She was pondering. Niles found it interesting that she was not sure if her subject with her business partner was urgent.

' _No. Just tell him to call me as soon as he gets rid of whatever his nanny has done, now'._

So, it was not urgent, 'I'll do it'.

' _It's about a contract'._

'Yes?'

' _Our main actor's lawyer wants to renegotiate again a point we have already discussed to death'_ , her voice had a smirk, _'And that will lead to_ his _death, if he insists'._

'Of course'.

' _I won't permit him to mess with our schedule'._

'Obviously'.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, she resumed, _'Well? Nothing else?'_

'I beg your pardon?'

' _You're not saying anything else?'_

'I don't understand. It was you who called. What am I supposed to say?'

' _I feel like I'm talking to myself'._

'I was providing answers'.

' _Yeah, polite boring answers. What good does it do?'_

'Is it wrong?'

' _You know it is!'_

'No, I don't, Miss Babcock. I have no idea what is right or wrong, between us', he was hissing at the phone, 'I have no complete memories. I can remember snippets at a time. It makes me confused. And frustrated. And then you tease and leave me by myself to deal with what your presence does to me; and then you disappear from the house and leave me by myself to deal with what your _absence_ does to me. And now you call and expect me to say meaningful things as if I should know how to behave towards you?!'

' _Good'._

' _Good_ what?'

' _You said how wrong and insensitive I am. Now it felt normal. The moment you're back to the nicknames everything will get on track'._

'Miss Babcock…'

' _Uhm?'_

'Why are you doing this to me?'

Silence.

' _I'm not doing anything unusual for our standards. I think I'm even helping to bring your memory back, in fact'._

'It doesn't have to be like this'.

' _Now I don't understand. Don't you want to remember…'_

She hesitated.

'Yes, I want to remember _you_ ', he completed her sentence, 'However, everything my memory provides has you allowing me to approach then pushing me away', his voice went to a whisper, 'If this is our usual, that's not where I want to go back'.

' _You're not in the right mind to propose anything life-changing, Niles'._

'I don't think it's about changing anything', he sighed, 'It never occurred to you that there are things we should face? That we have been choosing to offend instead of talking because we prefer ignoring anything that slightly resemble a caring relationship between us?'

She didn't answer.

'Miss Babcock, I'm doing all I-…', he regretted the approach, 'I'm sorry. This does not make any sense', he cleared his throat and made an effort to sound professional, 'Is there anything else I can do for you?'

More silence.

Niles realized he had stopped breathing while he waited for her to speak.

He wanted to be prepared for her dismissal.

' _I don't have any idea of what I'm supposed to do',_ there was regret in her voice, _I thought I was helping. If it's making things worse, I'll stop'._

'No'.

'No _what, Niles? All I do is provoke you in hopes you get back to who you were, but it's not working, and now you said you don't want to get back, and you said some nonsense things about what we don't want to see, and I kind of agree with you, even if I don't know exactly what you're talking about, and if there's anything scarier than that, well…'_

'I need you, witch'.

' _W-what did you say?'_

'You don't have to try to help me. I just need you around, being your witchy self'.

She must have felt how delicious it was for him to call her that, because her voice had little conviction, _'You don't know what you're saying. You hate me'._

'Do I, Miss Babcock?', he let the tenderness pour in his words, 'This house feels empty without you. _I_ feel empty without you. The only thing I hate about you is that you keep leaving'.

' _You're saying… You're healthier when you have me around?'_

He smiled, touched by the hopeful tone, 'I feel alive when you are close to me. I remember things soon after I see you. Your teasing thrills me. I don't know if it is healthier, but that's what I want'.

He could hear her breathing.

He decided to go on, 'I have the persistent feeling that I am late for something. I'm sure you are the key to find out what I'm missing'.

' _Niles… I-'_

'Oh, Old Man. Who's at the phone?'

(Maxwell Sheffield was known for his ill-timing.)

'Miss Babcock for you, Sir'.

 **xxx**

' _I still can't believe he chose her'._

 _The blonde woman was sitting by his side, her black and sexy garments in a party full of damsels and respected ladies in their delicate and discreet dresses making obvious she was an outsider._

' _I am a powerful witch. I am the one with intelligence and sense'._

 _Sir Niles-a-Lot (who hated his surname and prohibited anyone to ever mention it) pursed his lips and avoided looking at her beautiful profile and deep cleavage, 'Franevere is a sweet and caring woman. King Maxwell chose wisely'._

' _Oh, please. My powers make me infinitely superior to her'._

' _There are different kinds of powers, Babcock le Fay', he smirked at her rolling her eyes at him using her title, 'Hers are related to having a good heart that gets through any dark situation'._

' _She manipulates people with her smiley face and tight dresses', the woman gulped down some strong liquor, 'And with her voice, she can get through anything'._

' _You try to do the same with yells, menaces and evil ways', he looked at her, 'Guess who's winning?'_

' _I knew I shouldn't have come', it was her time to purse her lips, 'What is a celebration in my name when King Maxwell haven't even bothered to come?'_

' _If you didn't care about it, you wouldn't have begged for me to accompany you when your previous escort suspiciously disappeared'._

' _I have no idea what happened to Sir Chandler', she shrugged, 'And I offered you a night with a free meal, knowing it was something a lowlife would never refuse'._

' _I wonder where is your evil soul when you decide this lowlife would not be starving for one night'._

 _She smiled, 'And miss the opportunity to see your pathetic face among so many well succeeded and praised knights?'_

 _He shook his head slightly. The childish methods she chose to provoke him were kind of endearing._

 _Annoyed by his silent disagreement, she went further, 'Tell me: how does it feel to be the only bachelor in a group of stupid humans whose most interesting activity is to measure their swords with each other?', she got slightly closer to him, 'Is Excalibur as big as people say?'_

 _She spoke too close to his ear, and he shivered._

 _The familiar mix of despise for her obsession with the king and desire for her as an enticing being took Niles, and he answered in a low hateful voice, 'First you tell me how it feels to be rejected over and over again by the same man for more than a decade, just to see him fall in love with a woman who's everything you'll never be'._

' _I'm gone', she said, rising from the table._

' _Please, don't leave', he turned and took her hand, 'I'm sure we are able to entertain ourselves, tonight'._

 _She squinted, not taking the hand away, 'How would that be possible, you being the insufferable man you are?'_

' _That's it', he praised, 'See?'_

 _She sat again, 'I don't understand'._

' _You have spirit, Babcock. I feel honored when you use your brilliant mind to tease me. If we compromise in not bringing other people between us, I'm sure we can have a good time together'._

 _She relaxed, 'All right. We can give it a try'._

 _He stayed turned to her, his hand still holding hers._

 _He was looking now at her profile – crystal eyes, blond locks, full lips._

 _He had tried to look away, but ended up on the skin of her bare shoulders and in the curve of her big breasts, and it was worse for his discretion._

 _He feared she would notice he was staring, but still he was not able to look away._

 _She smirked and spoke without looking at him, 'Lost something here, Knight of the Menial Table?'_

' _My good sense, probably', he smiled, 'Do witches dance?'_

' _In special occasions, when the moon is full and the air is warm enough to be naked around a fire'._

Jesus, _'Isn't our truce a special occasion?'_

 _She got up, taking his hand with hers, 'There is no truce'._

 _He mirrored her, glad her gestures signaled she had accepted his asking, 'What would you call the fact you, one of the stars of the night, are conceding a dance to such a humble servant?'_

 _She adjusted her hand in his, holding it more firmly, 'I would call it an act of desperation'._

 _He chuckled while they walked to the dance floor, and she still had a rare soft smile on her features when he took her in his arms._

Niles woke up.

This time he was not agitated.

He had warmth spreading on his chest, and a very happy memory invading his mind.

He had gone to an awards ceremony with CC Babcock, after she had been dumped by her boyfriend, Chandler.

She had been beautiful all day long. He couldn't help but telling her she looked _very 60's_ (and he meant her classy outfit), and then he couldn't resist saying he meant her face when she swirled, proud of her fashion choices.

Niles had no idea why he needed to hide his admiration. She had been happy with his praise.

Then, she commented on the envelope he gave her, full of creases, and he explained it had been stuffed in the mailbox.

'I was talking about your neck'.

He smiled.

He adored when she was clever like that.

It payed back for every regret he could possibly have about teasing her, when she gave it back as good as he did.

Back to the point: she found out her boyfriend was ending their relationship through a letter (the coward!), and she had to offer Niles money for him to escort her to the awards ceremony.

She had been nominated.

She had been just dumped by the rich guy she thought she could finally show off in her moment of triumph.

And those things were what convinced Niles he had to behave as the gentleman he knew how to be: it was supposed to be her night, she could be winning an award, and it was almost ruined because she had been dating a man who couldn't care less about her as a person and didn't even wait the next day to dump her.

When Niles entered the limo Miss Babcock had rented, he noticed her furious stance and saw the corsage thrown on the floor.

He greeted her and picked the flowers before he sat down in front of her.

She didn't answer or acknowledged him.

It was obvious that the situation had registered to her, that now she regretted inviting him and was probably preparing herself for a nightmarish night.

When the limo went into motion, she scowled, 'I need a drink'.

'Good night to you, too, Miss Babcock', he moved to reach the minibar, 'On my behalf, I hope you agree champagne is the better choice'.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'You're a known alcoholic. We need something to calm down your nerves but not intoxicate you'.

'Afraid of a scandal?'

'You must not be, once you begged me to be your escort'.

'I offered you money and a free meal'.

'You could have offered money and a free meal to any starving man in the streets, and still you picked me'.

'If Maxwell is not going, there is no difference between you and a street begger'.

He gave her the flute, 'I want to make sure you are on your feet and speaking coherently when you win'.

She blinked, ' _When_?'

'I believe in you, Miss Babcock. No one can maul a set designer as you do, and it's time for your talent to be recognized', he finished serving them, 'If you could leave Mister Sheffield out of the picture for the night, I'm sure we can have a good time together, with you receiving all the praise and glory you deserve'.

Her eyes told him she had understood he meant she could win without Maxwell.

Still, she couldn't quite believe him so fast, 'Are you drunk?'

'I'm probably under one of your spells', he raised the flute, 'Shall we celebrate a truce?'

She smirked, raising her flute, too, 'There is no truce, Niles'.

They touched the flutes lightly, 'What would you call the fact you, one of the stars of the night, have accepted being escorted by such a humble servant?'

She barely contained her pride at his words, 'I suppose I have decided to open my horizons, once rich powerful men are weak cowards with no good sense at all', she sipped the champagne, 'As you can see, it's an act of desperation'.

He chuckled, and she smiled softly when he took her hand to place the corsage.

At the awards, Miss Babcock started tense but confident, ignoring bravely the murmurs on her being there with a man who was not the one she had been seen with in the last weeks.

Niles threw scowls at anyone who dared stare at them, and she showed her amusement at his protective stance.

The nominations for her category were announced, and then her name, as the winner.

The blonde grabbed the butler's hand and held it tight in recognition for his support, then got up under applause (and some catcalling of Niles' making), walking as a queen to receive the statue and give her speech.

When she was back to her seat, it was like she was floating on air.

CC didn't join Niles in the act of glaring at the people around her (people who now had recognized him as the Sheffield's butler and her as the ungrateful and egotistical bitch who didn't thank anyone in her speech, by the way); no, what she did was to help him to laugh at their faces, holding his hand during the rest of the ceremony, whispering sarcastic comments on his ear and chuckling with him.

When the main event was over, they entered the limo and she told the driver to go to the mansion.

They made light conversation until they arrived and, to his surprise, she exited the limo after him, telling the driver to wait for her.

'I'm not ready to end the night', she said at his curious face, 'But don't fear. I know your old and lazy bones can't take much, so I'll just make sure you're safe and sound'.

They walked side by side, 'If I couldn't put up with you I wouldn't be alive anymore'.

Niles unlocked the mansion's front door and turned to her, 'Maybe you should get in'.

'Better not. I just wanted to…'

She didn't find the words. Probably, what occurred to her was too grateful or caring to be acceptable.

Niles decided to jump in, 'I understand', he made a gesture to the living room, 'However, I insist you enter for a minute. The night has been too exciting for someone who usually spends it alone in a coffin'.

'I didn't know you had a coffin, too'.

' _Touché_ ', he smiled, 'What do you think about one dance? It would be a nice way to round up the evening'.

CC beamed and entered the room with no hesitation.

Niles could feel his heart beating madly.

It seemed he was doing everything right, tonight!

Maybe he was not that crazy when he wished they could get along.

He closed the door and went quickly to the stereo, afraid she would change her mind.

He chose the CD and the song that often made him think of how things would be if they were close.

Well, they were close. They would not say the things they did everyday if they weren't.

He meant how things would be if they were involved.

Well, they were involved. In a certain way, there was no one else with whom they were more involved, when you think about it…

The song started, she approved of his choice with a deep _hum_ and went to his arms.

They swayed for a while.

There was a respectful distance between their bodies.

There was no distance between his hands and her, and it made him excited to no end.

CC started talking about her speech, and Niles reminded her why it had been so short.

There was no criticism in his 'You didn't thank anyone', and it seemed she enjoyed hearing it from him.

He gathered some courage from his numerous wins of the night and confessed he was glad Chandler was not with her, anymore.

He even said the man was beneath her, what had been the clearest praise he had ever permitted himself to say to her.

He was already regretting it when she commented, in that low voice that messed with something inside him, 'Well, not anymore'.

 _Oh, my God._

It made him envision her naked, riding a man.

She was a powerful beauty.

He wanted to be the man beneath her.

He wanted her to do anything with him.

Luckily, she interrupted his lustful thoughts – she stopped dancing to give him the check.

There was nothing else he could do but ripping it off, saying the night was on him and taking her in his arms again.

The beam in her face when he did it was one of the most precious things he had ever seen.

The woman felt good at being cherished.

By him.

How powerful it felt to create such joy in someone!

How wonderful it felt to understand that making someone happy makes you happy!

He dipped her in the end of the song and she laughed, delighted.

He was delighted, too.

She was with him, and she was not annoyed or angry.

She trusted him, allowed him to hold her, and didn't feel disgusted.

He brought her up, and she went out of his arms naturally, already looking for her purse, 'I better be going. It's late'.

'Is it?', he almost pleaded.

'Yes, Father Time, it is', she answered, not getting his implication.

(Not even him was sure of what had been his implication. Had he invited her to stay? Had him asked about their relationship?)

Miss Babcock looked at Niles, the happiness making her eyes glow, 'Time flies when you're having fun. I'm glad I picked you'.

'Me, too', he managed to say.

She went to the door and he followed her, not knowing exactly what he was doing.

They stopped and he didn't move to open the door for her.

He couldn't do anything but look at her like an idiot.

She teased him about her being the real gentleman in the room, opened the door, said good night and walked away.

Niles stayed at the open door long after the limo had disappeared from view.

All he could think of was that he had missed something, and that maybe she was right, and it was getting really late.


	5. What is love?

**Memory Loss**

 **Chapter 5: What is love?**

Miss Babcock arrived early in the mansion, next morning.

She used her key and made a beeline to the kitchen, where she found Niles finishing preparations for breakfast, as expected.

One of her intentions was to make an entrance, and she was successful – he stopped adjusting things on a tray by the sink and was all eyes to her.

However, she had wished to be in control of the situation, too, and in that she was not successful – the warm smile that started in his eyes and quickly reached his lips at the sight of her made her forget whatever she had planned for an opening line.

They stayed in silence.

Shamelessly staring.

Initially, her eyes lingered on his clothes – the nice tailored pants he had chosen for today, the hazel tie on the white shirt, and the suit coat that put his broad chest and shoulders in evidence.

Her eyes reached his face, and the already mentioned warm smile was there, making an irresistible combination with his piercing blues.

Her cheeks flushed.

His eyes turned into a darker blue.

Suddenly self-conscious, CC looked away, licked her lips and put a lock of hair behind her ear.

Her gesture broke the tension and made possible for Niles to articulate a greeting, 'Hello, hello, Miss Babcock'.

She couldn't contain a smile of her own, because he was using such a sweet voice for a greeting that was usually _hers_.

The fact he remembered it and had decided to use it was endearing, to say the least.

The blonde approached the island and positioned herself in front of it, 'Look who's bragging on the memory crumbs he has already recovered', she supported a hand on the counter, 'Each time we meet you seem more comfortable around me'.

'I wish the same could be said about you'.

'Yeah, I often wish I could be more comfortable around myself, too'.

He acknowledged the joke with an amiable tilt of head, but then turned serious and walked to stand in front of her, 'I still don't have memories enough to know if I'm partially responsible for that'.

'So, you don't remember some of the despicable things you've done against my self-steam?', she crossed her arms, supported her back on the island and threw him a suspicious glance, 'I wonder if you would feel guilty for the years of zingers and pranks. Because that would be a nice turn of events, for me. Maybe I start even liking your memory loss'.

Niles gave a step closer, observing her profile, 'Some name-calling I already remember. I don't remember any pranks'.

'Not even when you told me I could lick a frozen gummy bear without mentioning it would stick to my tongue? Or the time when you painted my face while I was asleep on the sofa? And you really don't remember you burned one of my most expensive coats when I told you to take care of it because the Little One had thrown up on it at the zoo?', she crunched her nose in disgust, then pretend to be confused, 'Should I consider a prank every time you locked me out of the house? And do I count the times you offered me a broom when I mentioned the busy traffic, too?'

He raised his brows, 'I consistently act so immature towards you?'

' _Consistently_ is a funny choice of word…', they shared a smirk, 'But I would say yes'.

'It's strange to feel sorry for something I don't remember doing', he spoke, resting a hand on the counter, where hers had been, 'However, I feel sincerely sorry I mistreated you like that'.

'It sounds like you're apologizing for another person'.

'That's how it feels', he looked at his own hand, now at inches of her lower back, 'If you consider that my memories of you involve beautiful moments in a tropical paradise and the night when you won an award and we celebrated dancing in the living room, you'll understand how hard it is to me to see you as someone I dislike to any level'.

She noticed he was a bit embarrassed, and softened her voice, 'You said on the phone you remembered me always leaving'.

He nodded, 'In the island, in the night of the awards…', he lifted his eyes to hers, 'And in the night when we kissed'.

There she went pulling that stubborn lock of hair, again, 'You remembered… _that_?'

'Just our conversation in front of the mansion, afterwards. Miss Fine told me the rest'.

She nodded, looking ahead, 'Now I understand why this is all so confusing to you. You keep remembering the occasions when we…', she made a gesture with her hand as if looking for the right way to express their relationship, looked at him and finished lamely, '…got along'.

'Maybe my selective memory wants me to remember the things about you that made me happy', Niles' eyes went to her lips, and he lifted them to her eyes with visible effort, 'Or it's trying to tell me something I can't understand, yet'.

Her eyes were on his lips, now, 'As the sensation of being late and missing something?'

He just nodded.

She uncrossed her arms and turned her body to him, 'I was thinking of what you said… that you're not sure you want to get back to who you were'.

'Yes?', he whispered, thrilled by the change in her body language and the direct approach to the topic.

'I thought I wanted you to be back because that was _the Niles I know_. However, it's not exactly that. What I want back is _the Niles who knows me_ ', she raised her chin, 'I may be the Ice Queen and the Bitch of the Broadway – by the way, you loved those nicknames -, but I don't want this to be an unlevered game. Your selective memory is not getting us anywhere safe'.

'Is _safe_ an unnegotiable condition?'

'To be honest, it never was, between us', she looked at his hand on the counter and put her there too, almost touching his, 'What doesn't mean I'm comfortable with the place we're in, now'.

'Neither am I', he agreed, his breathing suddenly shallow, because she was getting closer at her own volition, and it felt like something so rare he had to preserve with the utmost care.

There was silence, for some time, both looking at the almost joined hands on the counter and none acting on it.

He decided to offer something, 'I've been dreaming about you'.

'You mean in general, like in silly love songs?'

'What?', he was confused for a moment, and looked at her face. She was sporting an adorable teasing smile, 'No, I mean _dreaming_ as in _while sleeping_ ', he moved his shoulders in that familiar shy way and smiled, 'Well, I've been daydreaming about you, too. And it doesn't feel like it's a recent event'.

She bit her lower lip to contain a grin, 'And what do I do in your _while sleeping_ dreams?'

'You tease, you yell, you come to me, you push me away, you leave unexpectedly', he tilted his head, 'The only invariable point is that you are always in denial'.

'Oh, please!', she scoffed, 'You have even less than your usually just half working brain and I am the one in denial?'

'First, I can't be in denial when my subconscious is in charge, as it happens in dreams. Second, if you're used to throw gratuitous zingers like that, I begin to understand why you expect me to do it all the time', he changed his stance and lowered his voice, inclining a bit towards her, 'Tell me: have you heard the part when I admit I daydream about you?'

'You shouldn't', she answered, trying to hide a shiver and not managing.

'Why is it?'

 _Those eyes!_ , 'You keep remembering every time I left you. Isn't it enough for you to understand we are not exactly close?'

'I prefer to think like this: if my selective memory started showing me your worst, and still I like you, it means every new memory I recover is going to make my feelings for you better and better'.

She widened her eyes for a moment.

It was a daring statement.

She felt the urge to contradict him, 'You think your memory started at my worst?'

'Am I wrong?'

'You have no idea the things I've done', she pressed her lips in disgust, 'I'm probably the most terrible person you know'.

'Try me'.

For a split second she pondered on answering _With pleasure_ , but decided to ignore the desire to explore the double entendre, 'Once I pushed Nanny Fine in front of a bus'.

'Once I made her favorite lipstick disappear for two days to punish her for breaking into my closet while I was away from the mansion'.

She frowned, 'I often forget Chester exists'.

'I often give him sweets, even knowing they are not healthy for him, just to make him stop yapping', he frowned, 'I thought he was Miss Fine's dog. Now I understand why he doesn't live here…'

She rolled her eyes and decided to try again, 'I have tried to bribe Maxwell's children'.

'I can't even count the times I did that to each one of them'.

Indignant at his cheeky stance, she put her hands on her hips, 'I have called you a number of humiliating names', she hissed each one for effect, ' _Lowlife_. _Housewife_. _Servant_ -'

'Trollop'.

Her heart accelerated.

She could see in his face that the association of words had come suddenly to him, and that the memory of that night was ready to reappear.

Well, she had come to help, hadn't she?, ' _Bell Boy_ '.

He beamed as if they were meeting after a long time away, 'Brunette…'

The affectionate way he said the word pulled her to him.

The heat in her eyes pulled him to her.

They crashed into each other, her hands on his face and his on her sides.

Yes, like that night.

It was intense and brought immense relief, for the unspoken desire that had become impossible to keep inside themselves.

Like that night.

However, it was very different.

They were totally sober.

They were not angry.

And there were no interruptions.

That's why the initial explosion had time to turn into a caress.

He pulled her to him with no fear of showing how much he wanted her.

She caressed his hair with no shame of showing there was tenderness going on.

When their lips separated, she hugged him tight, as if they were dancing cheek to cheek and it was totally unbecoming to really part.

She could feel his heart beating fast, his hand caressing the hair on the back of her head, the warmth of his body against her.

She decided to stay there and enjoy it, as they never allowed themselves before.

After some unmeasurable time, Niles murmured, 'Thank you'.

She whispered in his ear, 'Is this disgusting thing helping someway?'

'If you mean to make me feel good, oh yes, it is helping a lot', he kissed her temple, 'I said you just had to be around'.

'I meant your memory, smart-ass', she brushed his cheek with her nose, a mix of happiness and regret in her eyes when they met his, 'But you're welcomed, anyway'.

He chuckled and she nestled on him again to deal with the affection.

'Miss Babcock?'

'Dear God. Can't you be quiet for a moment?'

'Excuse me, but I'm the one with a serious mental condition- Dear, I think I have just set myself up for a zinger'.

'You did, but I'm not in the mood for kicking the poor sick butler, now. Just say what you wanted to say'.

He lowered his voice, 'I wanted to tell you now I remember what happened in the living room', he gulped, 'And what leaded to it'.

'You mean the presence of my friend, Jack Daniel's?'

'No', he separated from her, to look into her face, 'I mean what happened in the office'.

'I forgot to mention the chicken prank. Sorry. You must be really proud of that'.

'I'm referring to the fact you wanted to seduce Mister Sheffield'.

She gave a step back and crossed her arms, as before, 'Niles… I've told you. There are things you still don't know. There are reasons for us to hate each other, and they didn't stop existing the moment you hit your head'.

'If we hate each other, why are you here?'

'I work here'.

He squinted, 'Why do you keep showing you care for me, if you don't?'

'We have a twisted relationship. We throw zingers and barbs, we prank, we do whatever comes to mind to pester the other. It's kind of sick, but… It's the longest and more… thrilling relationship I've ever had, and I'm pretty sure you feel the same', she avoided his eyes, 'It has nothing to do with Maxwell and what I feel for him'.

'That was why you came here?', he was hesitant, 'To make sure I knew you don't like me as I like you?'

'No! It's the opposite: you must understand _you_ like _me_ as much as _I_ like _you_ ', she shook her head, 'And no, that was not why I came here'.

He frowned in confusion.

'Forget it', she gave a step towards him, 'I don't want to mess with your head. Let's leave it like this. Things will come to you, eventually'.

His shoulders fell.

In an instinctive gesture, she got closer and rested her hands on his chest, 'Enough with the long face, Hazel'.

He put his hands on hers, signaling he wanted her to stay close, 'Tell me… Were there other times?'

'Of what?'

'Did we kiss more times? I wish I knew. Maybe it would help me to understand why I want you so much, if you don't reciprocate it and keep going after Mister Sheffield'.

CC was surprised at the uneasy she felt at his words.

(Since when she didn't felt comfortable with the fact she wanted Maxwell and not Niles?)

'There was once more'.

(Why had she said that? Why didn't she just said he had to remember things by himself?)

'Once?', it was not clear if he was relieved there was at least one more kiss, or disappointed it was just one, 'Was it fueled by zingers, too?'

'No. It was completely different'.

She wanted him to ask for further explanation.

However, Niles stayed looking into CC's eyes as if he had to watch in them what had happened.

'I can show you'.

His eyes widened, ' _Show_?'

'I've said I'm here to help', she gave him a half smile, 'Who'd say I'd sacrifice myself for the well-being of the butler?'

He beamed at her teasing.

She freed her hands and put some distance between them.

Once she had said she was showing how they had kissed, he was confused by her actions.

CC turned her body and started reciting, _'Kissing is an art. It must be sensual. Deeply felt'_.

Niles was mesmerized by her movements – the hand close to her heart, forming a fist for dramatic affect; the other hand on her hip, creating a pose that was professorial and sexy as few things he had ever seen.

He almost recognized the words, but was sure he had never seen her doing it. If he had, he would surely feel the familiar warmth that takes him every time she does something he doesn't remember but knows he should.

She went on, ' _But, most of all… it must be_ spontaneous _'_.

She turned to him quickly, grabbed his tie and planted her lips on his.

They savored each other's lips with no hurry.

When they parted, she cleared her throat and started tiding up his tie, 'It was a bit shorter, but was basically this. You get the idea'.

He was awed, 'Did it really happen?'

She frowned at him, 'Do you think I would make it up just to kiss you again?'

'I wish so, but what I'm asking is if I really heard you giving this little speech on how you like your kisses to happen and never told you how sexy you are, and how available I would be for your spontaneity'.

Her hand froze on his tie, 'No, you didn't say it. You first asked if it was as bad to me as it had been to you, and then you gargled with tea to clean your mouth'.

He paled, 'Dear… I'm sorry. That was-'

'That's ok', she breathed deeply, let go of him and went for broke, 'I kissed you thinking it was Maxwell I was grabbing. I deserved it'.

She shrugged, trying to keep things light.

CC couldn't look into Niles' eyes, so she turned and walked to the end of the counter.

She needed some distance between them when he reacted to that new piece of information.

To her surprise, he ran to stand in front of her and took her hand, 'I'm sorry things between us were so twisted', he kissed it, 'However, I have this feeling that, even if you act as if you would like to be the typical socialite in order to impress a man like Mister Sheffield, there's a part of you who always wonders why it does not feel the same as it does with me'.

She raised her other hand to her heart.

She had expected his reaction to be the usual hatred, and he was surprising her.

More than that: she was surprising herself, because she was overwhelmed by _relief_.

Noises came from the dining room and they knew their privacy was over.

CC put her hand on Niles' cheek, gave him a peck on the lips (not as quick as it would have been safe for her dignity) and walked away before it went out of control, 'Well, I've done my good deed for the day. Don't expect me to be generous like this for the next twenty-four hours'.

Niles called out when she was reaching the swinging door, 'What if your generosity was paid with nice company and strawberry cake?'

That made her turn to him again, 'Not much is left of nice company and strawberry cake in this house, once we live among Fines'.

'I have an appointment in the hospital, this afternoon. You could give me a lift, and I would pay it with the cake and company _out of the mansion_ ', he lowered his voice, 'I'll make sure it is all yours'.

She blushed and bit her lower lip.

His heated glance didn't help her to think coherently.

'Deal'.

Luckily, Fran yelled _Good morning, everyone!_ , and it gave CC the perfect excuse to exit the kitchen.

 **xxx**

Niles went to bed that night grinning like a fool and dancing to some music in his head like… well, a fool.

Babcock had given him the lift to the hospital (with the excuse of deserving the cake), had decided to enter with him to see the Doctor (with the excuse of not permitting him to lie to the man), and then had invited him to have some coffee with her in a small delicious place she knew (with the excuse of not sharing the cake with him and needing some real coffee to stand being so much time around him).

It had been the perfect day.

She still insisted on them being enemies, but he could see it had started sounding ridiculous even to her.

He had multiple reasons to be happy: he had spent the afternoon with his preferred person in the world, she had been obviously content to be with him and tonight he would probably dream of her a lot, after so many new and exciting things that happened in the day.

 **xxx**

 _Niles knows he is in a cruise because he recognizes the ocean's motion._

 _However, there is other evidences: he is walking in a richly decorated deck, from where he can see the starry sky above and the light of the ship reflecting on the waves at his left._

 _There is rumba playing at a distance, and he descends some stairs, walking towards the sound._

 _People are lounging around the pool, drinking colorful drinks and enjoying the light salty breeze._

 _There are couples, families and small groups._

 _He notices everybody is wearing togas, and wonders if there is a costume party going on._

 _Luckily, he is wearing a toga, too, and does not feel out of place._

 _Suddenly, the most powerful man aboard appears in front of him, 'Ave, Niles Anthony!'_

 _Now he knows who he is and everything makes sense,_ _'Ave, Caesar Sheffield'._

' _If I were you, I would hurry. The dancing will start any minute, and someone will be very disappointed if you don't show up'._

' _Who?'_

' _Myself', at the other's scoff, Maxwell added, 'We're not in this cruise for vacations, Niles. The diplomatic negotiations between Rome and other civilizations have come to a halt, and I'm betting everything on this reunion'._

' _I'm aware of it, Caesar'._

' _Egypt is a strategic point', his voice hardened, 'Cleopatra Claire must cooperate'._

' _She wanted to be with you, Sir', Niles made a face, 'I don't see why you think she will accept my company'._

' _I'm not a fool, Niles. She just said she wanted me to make things more difficult. The Roman Empire is counting on the Proconsul', he put a hand on Niles' shoulder, '_ I _am counting on you, Old Man'._

 _He sighed, 'I'll do my best'._

 _Maxwell had a knowing smile, 'I know how you feel about her'._

 _Niles frowned, 'I don't know what you're talking about'._

' _I'm not a fool. I see the despise in your eyes when I talk about her and tell the things she has done. I admit she is not exactly a caring woman, but she is the Queen of Egypt. We want her'._

Oh, _'I'm glad you understand my despise for such a creature. I'll see what I can do'._

' _Thank you', Maxwell beamed, 'I'll be back to my other diplomatic duties'._

 _Niles nodded, watching the man walk gingerly to a certain huge haired brunette from the East – the real reason he didn't have time for Cleopatra Claire, anymore._

 _He walked to the Queen's quarters, not happy with his task._

 _When Caesar first went to her lands, everybody expected Egypt to be a reasonably easy place to dominate. However, Romans were not used to deal with women in power and, even with all Niles' advises, the Emperor annoyed the Queen to the point she plainly made up excuses to not get along with him._

 _Realizing he must change his tactics, Maxwell decided to use his charms, and the Queen started warming up to him._

 _It was a matter of time for her to start trying to seduce him, creating expectations of uniting Egypt and Rome through her marriage to the Emperor._

 _In one of his travels back to Rome, Maxwell met an Ambassador, Miss Fine, and it turned impossible for him to think of anyone else._

 _So, Niles was sent to Egypt to negotiate._

 _Cleopatra Claire refused to even receive him, and he was sent back home humiliated and already hating the woman he hadn't even met._

 _Caesar Maxwell organized this cruise as an opportunity to give the same amount of attention to both women, but he was not succeeding, what sent the Egyptian in the throes of angriness, sulking on her quarters._

 _And now Niles, whom she probably didn't even remember existed, must convince her to spend the evening with him._

 _It would not be easy._

 _He greets her guards, identifies himself and has to wait for a while._

 _A big while._

 _Finally, his entrance is cleared, and he is in front of the powerful African leader._

 _In her luxuriously decorated suit in the cruise._

 _Once she takes her time to analyze him, he takes his time to look at her and her surroundings._

 _First of all, he tries to understand how a white woman with blue eyes had ended as the queen of a people with a strong tradition of familiar-restricted dynasties._

 _(He remembers her ascension to the throne was involved in some suspicious murders and baffling mysteries that would probably never be clarified, and gives up understanding.)_

' _Your majesty', he greets, bowing respectfully, once she is surrounded by guards and cats, and he doesn't know what creeps him out more, 'I'm the Proconsul of Rome, Niles Anthony. I came to offer myself as company to you, for the night'._

' _You come before me as a suppliant'._

 _He straightens and puts his hands on his back, hiding his annoyance at her stance, 'If you choose to regard me as such'._

' _I do', she raises her chin, 'You will therefore assume the position of a suppliant before this throne. You will kneel'._

' _I will_ what? _'_

 _She squints at him, 'On. Your. Knees'._

' _You dare ask the Proconsul of the Roman Empire?'_

' _I_ asked _it of Maxwell Caesar. I_ demand _it of you'._

 _He couldn't accept that._

 _Niles turns and walks to the door._

 _She yells after him, 'You have not been dismissed!'_

 _He turns back, his eyes throwing daggers at her._

 _She makes a benevolent gesture, 'You are now… dismissed'._

 _He gives two steps towards her, contained fury written on his face and body language, 'Caesar trusts me more than he trusts himself with such a challenging personality as yours. However, if you have made up your mind about not collaborating, state it clearly and preserve us both of losing time in vain pretenses'._

 _It gains her attention._

 _She sends everybody away with a gesture – guards and cats._

 _When they are alone, she gets up from her throne and walks until she is right in front of him, 'Why would Caesar send someone else to deal with me? Is he afraid of me?'_

' _He is the Emperor. He can't dedicate all of his precious time to a solely mission'._

' _Aren't I a priority in any comparison?'_

' _To him, not. To me, surely'._

' _I find this answer most becoming', her eyes evaluate him with a new care, 'Would you explain it?'_

' _I have a fondness for people who defy the rules and build their own paths. Strength of character is a very attractive feature, for me'._

' _As a self-made woman and all strength being, I'm flattered'._

' _I didn't intend to flatter you in anyway'._

' _And I don't need your flattery for anything, but I enjoy it'._

' _Are you throwing yourself at me as you have done at Caesar?'_

' _You surely would have a lot to gain, being allied to me. I can't say the same on the contrary: he has an empire; what do you have?'_

' _Not all powers are conquered by riches'._

' _No', she smirks, 'Some powers are conquered by looks._

 _He smirks too, his eyes telling her he agrees on the statement, 'And understandings'._

 _She is impressed by their alike minds, but try to hide it, 'I suppose you're aware I would be considered a barbarian to Roman standards'._

' _I still can't say if you are a good barbarian or a bad barbarian, my Queen', he takes her hand and kisses it, 'What I know for certain is that I want my baby by my side'._

Niles woke up.

He remembered the cruise.

CC was his lucky charm.

He had said that line to her – 'My baby by my side'.

And she did it: she stood by his side while he gambled and won.

She teased him and was funny and smiled at his foolish joy.

She accepted a drink and they cheered, celebrating their unexpected partnership.

She went away to her Yetta-free suite when she got tired and he seemed far from ending the night.

Niles closed his eyes and facepalmed at the missed opportunity. What an idiot he had to be to not seize any opportunity he had with the woman he loved?!

Yes. The woman he loved.

He was sure. Even if she said otherwise.


	6. The ending scene

_I'm sorry for the glaring grammar mistakes of the previous chapter. I just noticed them after I published it, and am too lazy to put it down for corrections, once it was not something that made reading impossible._

 _Thank you for the always generous feedback._

 **Memory Loss**

 **Chapter 6: The Ending Scene**

Fran noticed Niles enthusiasm early in the next day, and went back to the kitchen as soon as the children were settled for the Saturday morning.

The butler was cleaning up and singing _Old Time Rock'n'Roll_ to himself, and she didn't resist teasing, 'Someone seems ready to shine!'

'This song came to my mind while I showered and now I'm stuck with it', he grinned at her while in frantic activity, 'Luckily, I like it'.

'I'm surprised you're so energized', she observed while he took some mugs and put them efficiently in the dishwasher, 'Your bestie didn't come for breakfast, today. Maybe she is not even coming for work'.

'Yes, it seems she wasn't brave enough to face our morning ritual, but I'm sure she will come over', he closed the machine door with too much force, and started cleaning the counter, rubbing it almost viciously, 'I may not remember everything about Miss Babcock, but I know what I feel'.

Not exactly understanding, Fran decided to seize the rare opportunity of a Niles distracted by work, and prodded, 'And what would that be?'

He went on as if he hadn't heard her, 'She will not ignore my feelings. She won't treat them as an illusion. I have taken a decision, and nothing is going to stand between me and my goal'.

Fran went closer and tried again, 'And what would that be?'

'If she thinks she is going to distract me with her powers, that witch is very wrong! I'm not permitting her to-'

'Niles!'

'What?!', he stopped, annoyed, and looked at her.

Fran walked to him and spoke in a soothing voice, 'I'm here to help, sweetie. Calm down and tell me what is going on'.

He opened his mouth to answer, but the swinging door moved, revealing a hurried Miss Babcock, 'Hello, hello! I couldn't get up from bed, this morning'.

'Someone put that rock on your coffin again?'

Both CC and Niles looked at Fran – it was her who made the comment.

'I'm sorry, I was just trying to bring up some normalcy. Go on as you wish'.

The socialite glared, 'I barely slept, and was too tired to come for breakfast'.

'It's Saturday', Fran informed, 'You didn't have to come to work'.

'Have you eaten anything?', the butler asked the blonde, pointedly ignoring the brunette and trying to divert The Eye she was receiving from the socialite.

CC left Fran off the hook, 'No. I decided to come directly here. I have _a lot_ to do', she threw a quick glare at the other woman, 'Not that some people in this same room would understand what having a real job is'.

The butler frowned quickly at the notion that he may be included in the zinger, but decided to let it go, 'I'll prepare something for you'.

'Ok'.

He moved to pick a mug for her and decided to make small talk, 'I hope our time together yesterday had nothing to do with your bad night'.

To his chagrin, what he said was not taken lightly, and CC lashed out, 'It's funny how you promptly think me being late has something to do with you. Would it be because you're so old and decrepit you're always late?'

Niles froze.

CC had the deer in the headlights look.

Fran looked from one to the other, desperate for clues on what was going on.

He turned to face the blonde and frowned deeply, 'When did-'

'I think I've heard Maxwell calling me!', she almost yelled to cut him off, 'I'm out of here. I mean, I'm gone. Going. To the Office'.

She exited the kitchen hurriedly.

Fran went to the fridge to see if there was something to munch on later, when her mother came, while commenting on the danger of running like that in a house with so many people, including children.

She closed the fridge and realized she was alone.

Niles had gone after Miss Babcock.

Fran, obviously, ran after them.

When she arrived in the living room, the butler was standing behind the sofa, his eyes glued to something Gracie was watching on television.

The Nanny saw the terrified face of the businesswoman, some steps ahead, her eyes going from Niles to the screen.

Noticing the small crowd that suddenly seemed very interested in what she had been watching, Gracie joyfully shared some info with them, 'It's that very interesting documentary we saw together, Niles, about the representation of love in fiction and how it reflects how society see men and women. It has already presented classics as _Casablanca_ , _Romeo and Juliet_ and _Cleopatra_. Now it's analyzing how cavemen dragging women by the hair was a favorite motif in early cinema, reinforcing the idea that initiative and decision-taking were features expected in men'.

Fran looked at the screen and there it was: a black and white scene of a man wearing an obviously fake animal skin with a club in one hand and a woman by the hair in the other.

Niles put a hand on his head, where he had been hit.

Fran approached him, and touched his arm, worried, 'Are you ok, sweetie?'

CC gave more steps away, visibly dreading his answer.

He lowered his arm and looked at the brunette, 'Miss Fine, would you do me a favor?'

'Anything'.

'Tell Mister Sheffield his business associate arrived for work, but that she is a person decent enough to be with me for a while in order to clarify some things', he looked at CC, hardening his voice, 'I'll be _in the butler's pantry_ '.

She cringed as if he had slapped her.

Niles exited the room without looking back.

Gracie used the remote to stop the video, 'What is happening? Did I say something wrong?'

'I don't think so', Fran reassured the girl, then turned to glare at CC, 'But I wish I knew'.

The blonde was looking at the swinging door, where Niles had disappeared.

She was the image of desolation.

Always empathetic, Fran approached her, 'Miss Babcock? May I help you?'

'Yes', the woman answered looking at empty space, 'Tell Maxwell I had something to deal with before going to the office'.

And she exited the room, too, not looking back.

'They are so similar', Gracie commented, and pointed the remote control to the VCR, 'I hope they figure it out soon'.

 **xxx**

When CC arrived at the pantry, Niles was waiting for her, supporting his back on a cabinet, his arms crossed over his chest, his brow furrowed.

She entered and stopped the moving door behind her to gain some time.

Then, she joined her hands nervously.

He directed his glare at her, 'What do you have to say in your defense?'

She gulped down. Any hope that he still had some doubts about what had happened were vanquished.

Well, it was time to keep the façade.

CC separated her hands and raised her chin in defiance, 'I don't have anything to defend myself from. I came here that Wednesday to talk to Maxwell and consult some contracts, I didn't find him or them, I found _you_ , and it's completely understandable that I was disappointed'.

He uncrossed his arms and put a hand behind his ear to cradle it as if he needed to hear her better, 'And?'

She passed her tongue on the front of her teeth, 'You refused to give me any information and walked away as if you owned the house. I went after you, we had an argument and I… may have… thrown something on you'.

He supported his hands on the counter by his sides, nodding encouragingly, 'And?'

She huffed, 'I didn't hear any noises. I thought I had missed and you would be laughing at me, so I exited the house as quick as I could', her shoulders fell, 'When Nanny Fine called me to say you were in a coma I was sure it was my fault. But then you woke up and couldn't remember me, and I decided it was for the best', she shrugged in obviously fake nonchalance, 'I told you I've done some terrible things', she crossed her arms and looked away, 'I tried to warn you. It's not my fault you're an idiot'.

CC waited for his answer, running all possible scenarios in her head to prepare for the backlash.

Maybe he was going to yell at her, furious she had left without checking if she had hit him.

Maybe he was going to declare coldly how right he had been about her for all those years, and leave her alone. Forever.

Maybe he was going to mock her for putting herself on his hands so easily, hurting him physically and hiding it to try to avoid being hold responsible.

She realized he now had something to tell her on Maxwell.

To her surprise, CC considered that the worst possibility.

Not because it would make her partner horrified at her vicious personality and violent actions (he already knew about them and seemed not to mind when they were useful for business).

It was because it was a clear signal that Niles' memory was back, that _the Niles who knew her_ was back, and that his first thought was not of sympathizing with her decisions, but of how he could make the whole world despise her.

Deciding to attack before he said any hurtful words, she hissed, 'Don't you even think of using this to blackmail me. You can spread the story as much as you wish. I don't care', her hands closed into fists, by her sides, 'And for your information, I'm not sorry I hit you!'

'And you shouldn't', he answered calmly, 'Once you didn't'.

She must have heard it wrong, 'What?'

'You threw the casserole too high', he pointed at the rebuilt shelves behind him, 'It hit a weaker point in the structure that I was not aware of. I noticed things had moved, turned to get a stall for a closer look and everything went black'.

'You mean…', she pointed at the shelves, '…it was really an accident?'

'Yes, it was', he smiled, 'Relieved?'

For a moment, the tension was gone from her entire body, and she seemed on the verge of agreeing.

However, something occurred to her, and the Bitch of Broadway was back in full force, 'What are you?! A sadist?!', she advanced towards him, 'You knew it was not my fault and still you set me up just to laugh at my face?!'

He raised his hands, 'Woah! Calm down, Babcock'.

'Don't tell me to calm down when you're such an assh-'

'You misunderstood me', he cut her off.

She stopped walking to yell better, 'You asked what I had to say in my defense! What is there to misunderstand?!'

'I was referring to the fact you spent the entire time I had memory loss trying to convince me I don't like you, when you knew I do', it was his time to give a step towards her, 'And there is more: you spent the entire time of my memory loss trying to convince me _you_ disliked me and would never give a chance to what exists between us, instead of telling me what you had really said before you threw the casserole'.

It made her retreat, 'I don't know what you're talking about'.

'Oh, really?', another step towards her, 'Do you need me to remind you?'

'There's no need to…'

'Yes, there is', he gave another step, stopping very close and looking her right in the eye, 'Your exact words were: _I'm not surprised you act like this towards me, Niles. It must be sad to know you are too late to learn any new tricks that could impress a master as demanding as myself_ '.

She stayed silent, not able to take her eyes off his.

'You know what was your mistake, Miss Babcock?', he squinted, 'You didn't take into consideration that you are my lucky charm, and that the hit in the head you indirectly caused would prevent me to give you any of the stupid comebacks we are used to'.

She pressed her lips together stubbornly.

'But now I can give you the proper answer you deserve'.

He was so close she could see his eyes darkening.

She hoped he thought the flushing on her cheeks was angriness, and not the thrill at his closeness it really was.

'Do you want to hear it?', he asked in a low voice.

'Not really', she more breathed than spoke, but still tried to maintain some dignity, despite such twisted arousal, 'But I think you'll say it, anyway'.

'Yes. I will'.

His next gesture surprised her.

Niles rested his hands on CC's forearms.

He was not grabbing her.

It was a caress.

He licked his lips, looking at her mouth.

Then set his eyes on hers.

'I hope you are wrong, Miss Babcock, because I really want you to be my master and I wish with all my heart that I still have time to learn what to do to impress you'.

She blinked, realization dawning slowly on her.

That was the answer he thought she deserved.

The answer he couldn't give her then, but could, now.

'Oh, crap!', she finally exclaimed.

And immediately grabbed him for a kiss.

Niles followed her lead, deepening the contact when she did, enjoying her reaction without thinking of what it meant.

When CC let go of his lips (but still kept him close by the grip on his shirt), he whispered, 'May I say you keep being the charming one?'

She chuckled, planting her palms on his chest, 'I hate you'.

'Once you insist on naming it _hate_ ', he grinned and sing-songed, 'Hate you more'.

His words crumbled the rest of her resistance, and CC pressed her lips against Niles' in a loving touch.

When they parted, he involved her waist with his arms, keeping her close.

She caressed his cheek with her hand, 'You know, I was right'.

His voice was warm, 'About what?'

'About the importance of you recovering your memory'.

'Because now I know everything about us?'

'Because now you won't have any lame excuses, like a memory loss, to say I tricked you'.

'Being a magic being, you do tricks all the time, baby', he saw her lips part in surprise at the endearment and pecked them, 'And I wouldn't have it any other way'.

 **xxx**

Luckily for Niles and CC, Fran Fine had heard everything through the old intercom in the pantry, and they were not interrupted.

When they decided to move it to her penthouse, Fran ran to the office to spread the news of a blooming romance in the mansion, in hopes that a certain British businessman stopped being in denial about love.

If Niles and CC, who were so similar and still so opposite – to the point they apparently could never fit in anyway - had managed it, anyone could.

 _The End_


End file.
